crisps are chips and chips are fries

I speak two languages fluently: English and American.

Last week, the partners bought new seating for foyer. The chair; a cubic little deal made out of firm, smooth, poured foam and available in a range of colours is called "Pouf".

Today they arrived and the cretive director, a devote Methodist, was extactic and exclaimed how "Finally we have a whole bunch of Poufs!"

"Thank God!" I replied. "Now I don't feel so alone."

Only the british lady got it.

« translation » Pouf is british slang for "fag". "Fag" is british slang for "cigarette".

Now, I'm usually pretty good at reading icons - Like these, for example, on the side of the Pouf boxes:

WEATHERPROOF - got it.
NOT FRAGILE - sure
THIS END UP - gotcha
* snicker *












But this one?

RINGO STAR-COMPATIBLE? - not entirely clear on that one.

Past: Tense / Present: Perfect

I've always been of the belief that if you lose a friend, it means that you never really had that person as a friend in the first place.

All my life I've fought against the commoditization of my soul. From a very early age, I've often been seen as a short list of adjectives: "creative", "gay". Whereas both of those things are a large part of who I am, it's not WHAT I am. To be 7 and have relatives comment on how they want your art because when you die they will be rich. To know that everyone's sense of your worth hangs not on your life, but on your death is not a way to grow up. People have always wanted a piece of me in that regard and often viewed me as nothing more than the product I could provide to accessorize their lifestyle or ensure their upward mobility and status.

and to a degree that is the nature of being an artist.

But very few people ever saw (or see me) as a person BEFORE being an artist.

I've had to learn a very valuable lesson in regards to where that stands.

Before the move to Phoenix I freelanced as a designer and had the luxury of taking jobs from clients whom I get along with. Those clients, I came to believe, were part of my friends.

But then one sued me for money on a job she dropped out of, but I completed. Then another (her friend) suddenly decides not to pay me for work I've completed for HER.

Both, I had thought were my friends. We shared wine together, celebrated birthdays together...

But I was naive. I have come to find out that I was nothing more than a tool to make them look good to their bosses and that the good spirits were to placate me and keep me from leaving.

When it came time for me to go to Phoenix, I found that I was dead to them and they made every effort to stop me - even withholding payment. *( I'm losing over $8,000 because of it.)

I don't like being faced with my naiveté, however I've had to learn the lesson that clients are not friends. You can never be friends with someone who is cutting you a check because you will never be anything more than a drain on their bank account and in many ways, a whore. You are paid for services rendered.... nothing more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pause & reflect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Under the black, rubber mallet of transition, I have been clarified and reduced. I can see the skin I want to shed and am glad that it is sluffing itself.

It's like seeing the number in the dots and finding out that your vision is, in fact, accurate when before, you only saw the dots... and you feel so stupid for only seeing dots before when the number was there all along.

That is one of the things I am glad to leave behind: The whorish aspect of art. I have no choice but to do it, because that is how I make my living... but I am tired of dancing on the corporate pole for ones and quarters. I look forward to being part of a family that wants you around for not only what you can do, but who you are as a person. I want consistency. I want medical benefits again. I'm tired of the uncertainty of freelance, tired of always having to be the bad cop, tired of having to reconcile the insult of the parsimonious with the need for bread crumbs... but more importantly, I was tired of being tired... and I didn't even know it.

Why won't my damn TiVo work?!

Now that I have cable TV again, I have come to know the beauty of movies whenever I want them.

Over the weekend, as I was being domestic and doing housey stuff, I watched both Alexander and Troy. I know, I know... a day late and a dollar short. Let know one say I don't have my finger on the pulse of last year's zeitgeist.

Downsides: The plot and the dialogue.

Upsides: Colin Farrel's ass, balls and cock. Brad Pitt's ass and Eric Bana in general.

Overall; THUMBS UP!

You Are Here

Not that anyone reads this, but I needed to post something before the internet begins to reconsume this blog - like the forest folding itself over Palenque.

There have been many changes in my life - which is par for the course. Flux is normal and invigorating at times. Terrifying at others, but exciting nonetheless. Life never takes the course that we plan or expect and if you let it, it will take you on a journey that will ultimately end up successfully. It's that trust and willingness to jump that is the hardest thing. But, I've jumped before and landed safely. I simply trust that the journey that life takes me on is one that is best suited for me. The Universe does not speak to you but will bend you to it's will whether you like it or not - it's impossible to fight something as ubiquitous and omnipotent as that and if you allow yourself to ride the wave then it will eventually wash you ashore on the land best suited to you.

Entropy only exists because we try to control our lives too much. The harder you grasp life in your palm, the more it slips through your fingers.

I'm at work right now and should most likely be working so I'll make this brief.

1) I am living in Phoenix now.

2) Yes, Phoenix. *(how apropos)

3) I am working at a design firm and being courted / groomed to be the Director of Interactive

4) I obviously have them fooled.

5) I have come to despise my former clients as they are all money-grubbing, souless bastards

6) Not really, but I've learned some valuable lessons about them

7) I don't like getting up at 6

8) The air smells different when it's silent and moves with the freedom of a wind unencombered by obstacle.


I will post more. And more often. *(especially once I have an office and people can't just look at what I'm doing...